Video: Expanding points


Narration:

These are the 5 ideas we have brainstormed already. We may not use all of the ideas we brainstorm in our essay so we need to choose the ideas that we can write the best essay about. Now we need to look at which ideas we can best expand by developing, supporting and adding examples. First let’s look at the points that disagree with the question. For the first point, you could talk about older people being more mature and having a wider range of first hand experience. This experience could make them more patient than their younger colleagues. As a result, some clients may prefer to work with more senior people in a company. An example of this could be accountants, real estate agents or surveyors – an older accountant is more likely to offer the best advice as they have their experience to draw on.

For the second point we could talk about the problems of supporting older people if they were required to retire. The result of this would be higher taxes for younger people. This may lead to a feeling of resentment, and in some cases younger people may opt not to work at all in countries with unemployment benefits paid by the state.

For the third point we need to consider the effect of an increasingly ageing population. Maybe this will make the problem of supporting over 50s worse as numbers increase. Now let’s consider the points that agree with question. For the first point, it is possible that by allowing people over 50 to continue working, younger people do not have the same access to opportunities. The second point is that forcing people to retire could be good because savings can be made on higher salaries, thus allowing more money to be spent on employing new staff, research and development or simply on increasing profits.

Now we need to organise how to present our ideas. As this is a give opinions / challenge a point of view type essay, we would use this paragraph structure. We will need three solid points to present, so because we have more to say about the arguments against the question, this is the position we would take when writing the essay. It is important to bear in mind that the opinion you present in Task II is based on what is easier to write, which may not necessarily be your personal opinion. We would start the essay with the strongest point; that people over 50 have the most experience. The second paragraph would focus mainly on supporting people over 50 if they weren’t earning an income. Since the increasing ageing world population relates to this, we could also consider putting this into paragraph two, but remember at this stage, you may decide not to include some of your ideas if you have not thought of enough support or relevant examples. Remember your main focus should be developing three strong ideas for three paragraphs. In the final paragraph, the concession, we could consider putting these two ideas together.

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