A common error in the IELTS test is not writing in a formal, academic manner for Task 2. In this post, we will look at writing too emotionally.
Compare these two sentences -which is better?
A: People who spend extended periods in front of a television could be exposed to the great risks of pain and suffering from health issues, as well as missing opportunities to spend time outdoors in the arms of mother nature.
B: People who spend extended periods in front of a television could potentially face related health issues, as well as missing opportunities to spend some time outdoors.
The best sentence is B – although it is shorter, it is academic and formal. Referring to ‘pain and suffering’ and ‘the arms of mother nature’ are more suited to books or poetry, but not for an academic essay. Make sure your work is not excessive – remember you are writing at a level intended for a university lecturer, not a book club!
Here are some other ’emotional’ phrases that we have seen written in student essays that are definitely best avoided in Task 2:
- It is with great joy and happiness
- For it is the beauty of our world
- Friendship in the heart is more valuable
- We must be full of peace and love
- The mind must be able to float like the wind
- How can it be so if we love our brothers and sisters?
- Living in sin can mean our souls are burdened