Band score: approximately 8.0
Task: Task 2
The answer below has been rated purely based on the public IELTS descriptors. Click the word or words in red to see the correction, and scroll to the bottom of the page to read our comments on the report.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Should arts-related entertainment venues such as museums and art galleries be free of charge for the general public, or should a charge apply for admittance?
Discuss this issue, and give your opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
This essay presents a discussion about art galleries and related entertainment and whether it is fair to charge a fee or not get access to ‘to access’ is more formal them, followed by a personal opinion.
A charge should apply ‘be applied’ in order to get access to some forms of art entertainment this needs to be followed by a comma for instance a presentation of foreign arts and crafts. This incurs a cost to bring and present them in your ‘the exhibitors’ own country so a fee must be charged to finance the expenses of bringing different type of cultures to another country. For example, an exposition of ancient Egyptian jewellery in the United States generates a cost for Egypt for transport ‘transporting’ these various items and an expense to the United States museum who will be displaying them.
On the other hand, heritage collections and cultural festivals should allow of delete this free access to the general public in their own country for they represent the history of their own people and this promotes a better understanding of the true meanings of a particular national culture. For example ‘For instance’ – for example has already been used, national museums where important documents are stored which represent the foundations of the actual political and legal system of a country or ancient crafts which depict our predecessors predecessors’ – needs the plural apostrophe at the end of the word way of life.
My personal opinion is that a charge or fee for admittance should be applied when foreign collections or artistic presentations are shown. Also, it can be applied to national museums and galleries but only if the money gathered is reinvested in the preservation of such institutions or the promotion of similar places.
The argument is clearly presented and gives two good points before moving to the personal point of view. There are some issues with punctuation, but a wide range of vocabulary and grammar have been used, and the length is appropriate for the task.
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