The answer below has been rated based on the public IELTS descriptors. Click the word or words in red to see the correction, and scroll to the bottom of the page to read our comments on the letter.
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
You are a member of your college/university library and have recently received an email from them asking you to return overdue books that you had actually never borrowed.
Write a letter to the librarian. In your letter:
- explain the situation
- say what you would like them to do
- ask if this problem will affect your library membership
Write at least 150 words.
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear Sir or Madam,
I’m a student member of university ‘the university’ library. I received ‘have received’ an email from the library requesting proper action on a novel called ‘Hero’ which borrowing due date has been over for a while restructure this to ‘is now beyond its return date’. I was very puzzled ‘surprised’ when read ‘I read’ this e-mail, because I had never loaned ‘have never borrowed’ this book. In the notification letter, only mentioned my name ‘my name is referred to’,did ‘but it did’ not indicate any membership number delete this – ‘number’ is given at the end of the sentence or identification number. As Susan Gate is a very common name, I’m wonderring ‘wondering’ if you send ‘sent’ the letter to a ‘the’ wrong person?
I would like to have details ‘further details’ on this matter; could you check your computer system again? If possbile, please give me a call to advise contact person, appointment date and time. My mobile number is 9230-1234.
Will my membership be suspended due to this matter? Combine this paragraph and the next
I’m in the midst to complete ‘of completing’ my final thesis, thus do delete this need to borrow books from library.
I’m looking forward to hearing your response at your earliest convenience.
Thank you very much! Change this to a full stop – exclamation marks are not suitable for a formal or semi formal letter
There are many instances where the register (tone) of the letter is unsuitable. The situation requires a formal or semi formal tone, so the use of exclamation marks ( ! ) and informal language (‘over for a while’) is inappropriate.
There are a nunber of errors with tense and articles usage (‘if you send the letter to a wrong person’) which sometimes make the meaning unclear.
The paragraphing format is a little unclear, with one long paragraph to begin then a series of short paragraphs.
However, some of the vocabulary used is good (‘Will my membership be suspended due to this matter? ‘).